Mature adult speaking with nurse in living room on couchEnd-of-Life Resources for Caregivers and Family

This page is intended to assist family members and caregivers in communicating with their Veteran about end-of-life planning, resources, and wishes. This is a truncated list of considerations that mainly focus on how to begin and sustain a dialogue about a difficult topic, like death. If you would like a broader walkthrough of the resources and information available, please visit our planning in advance page.

 

Starting the Conversation

According to AARP most adults over 45 generally avoid talking about death which is why starting the conversation with a loved one can feel intimidating. GetCareSC is a great resource for learning how to prepare for the conversation and accessing resources as a need emerges. End-of-life planning is often put into action by personal events or loss, talking about what spurred your own thoughts on the subject can be a great way to break the ice.

Be Prepared

You don't have to think through every wish and "what if" scenario before starting a conversation. Just establish the basics: who should be present for the conversation, where is the best place to talk, what do you want to share or learn, and when will the conversation happen?

How to Break the Ice: 
  • "Can you help me with something?"
  • "I've been thinking about the future lately. I'd like your thoughts on some things."
  • "What happened to ____ made me realize..."
  • "Even though we're healthy and safe right now, I want to be prepared for the future."
  • "Remember how ___ died? Would you have wanted something different?"
Document on desk with "approved" stamp and penAfter the Conversation

Usually end-of-life conversations aren't one and done, so this may be the first of many. Think about what went well, what you want to remember, and any topics to clarify or address in the future.

A conversation is an important first step, but putting wishes in writing or creating legal documentation is vital to ensuring your wishes are carried out and understood by your loved ones. South Carolina Legal Services is a great resource for learning about your options for documenting your wishes.

Considerations:
  • Has my loved one identified a health care proxy or created an advance directive that outlines what type of care they wish to receive?
  • Have they completed a Will or created a Living Trust?
  • Have they made funeral or burial arrangements?
  • Did they designate a durable power of attorney for their finances?

The National Institute on Aging provides information on how to get your affairs in order. It may be useful to read over this checklist or at least provide the information to your loved one for consideration when they are ready.

 

Additional Resources

 

Caregiver Resources

Being a caregiver can be incredibly taxing and difficult to navigate. Though we want to provide our loved one with the best care we can, it is also important to take care of yourself. The U.S. Department of Veterans Affairs offers a number of resources to support family members providing care to their Veteran. They offer training and education services, insurance, and mental health resources. Click HERE find out if this program could help you. The South Carolina Department on Aging also offers resources for family members and caregivers without service-related qualifiers.

 

Planning Guides and ResourcesOne woman holding another woman hand above a mobility aid

The Conversation Project, an initiative of the Institute for Healthcare Improvement, aims to help everyone talk about their wishes for care through end of life. They have guides for caregivers of people navigating Alzheimer's, information on how to prep for talking to a healthcare team, materials on choosing or becoming a healthcare proxy, and conversation guides for developing an end-of-life plan. 

 

State Resources

GetCareSC provides information on care resources and articles on topics like health and wellness, adaptive cooking, loneliness, and much more. 

State Veteran Homes can also provide care to qualifying Veterans. Click HERE to learn more. 

Part of end-of-life planning includes make burial and funeral arrangements. SCDVA operates one Veteran cemetery in Anderson, South Carolina, M.J. Dolly Cooper Veterans Cemetery. Additionally, there are three national cemeteries located throughout the state. You can find more information on those HERE.